Good, Bad, I haven't met the movie I can't watch.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Zombies, Chicks, Luchadors, and Dr. Satan--Oh My!
Director- Rob Zombie
Starring- Tom Papa, Sheri Moon Zombie, Paul Giamatti
Famous (?) luchador El Superbeasto (Papa) must save a woman he's lusting after from the nerd-farious Dr. Satan (Giamatti), enlisting the help of his secret-agent/cheerleader-type sister, Susie-X (Moon Zombie) and her smitten robot sidekick.
Along the way he rescues a has-been luchador named El Gato, who was imprisoned by Dr. Satan a long time before. He is now know more for his weird googly-eyes and dragging scrotum than for any wrestling moves.
Throw in some Nazi-zombies trying to retrieve from Suzie-X their fuhrer's stolen head-in-a-jar, and you have a pretty big monster-romp of an animated movie.
Unfortunately, not all of the jokes are that funny--some even seem forced, despite coming from good actors, and a lot of the female characters are visually, if not mentally interchangeable.
Rating: 3.5/5 Bonedaddies.
A Hard Case To Defend
Director- Gregory Hoblit
Starring- Collin Farrell, Bruce Willis, Terrence Howard
Within the bleak atmosphere of a WWII POW camp, Lt. Thomas Hart (Farrell) must use his limited law school education to defend a murder case involving Tuskegee pilot Lt. Lincoln Scott (Howard) and another POW. Hart knows that Scott has been falsely accused, and knows Col. William MacNamara (Willis), unofficial leader of the prisoners, has something to do with it.
The movie quickly becomes heavily racially charged with arrival of the two African American airmen, and tension is almost constant throughout most of the movie. Col. Verner Wisser, acted incredibly by Marcel Lures, is a strong character, and despite being a "villian" in the movie still manages to force some respect from the viewer, especially toward the end. Wisser and MacNamara share what can be best termed a 'hateful friendship'. Wisser actually seemed broken when he learned of MacNamara's involvement and motives, and what actions he must take in retaliation.
The movie was visually arresting with flat colors and amazing special effects that didn't dominate the film.
Rating: 4/5 Bonedaddies.
Have a Slice...
Director- Mark Christopher
Starring- Ethan Embry, Kylie Sparks, Julie Hagerty
Obese wallflower Cara-Ethyl (Sparks) flees her 18th birthday for a night out with "Pizza King" Matt (Embry). Throughout the night, Matt discusses his personal philosophies in an effort to help her be happier with her life. The two share some intense feelings for each other, she suffers humiliation at the hands of some popular girls (but subsequently gets her revenge using an ex-lax pizza recipe), and ultimately realizes that the philosophical "Pizza King" she fell for is nothing more than a pizza shop employee who never bothered to advance his life beyond his high school years.
The story sounds a bit hokey at first, but if you bear with it for a while, it gets pretty entertaining. Acting was good all around, especially from Kylie Sparks. Her character turned various embarrassments into learning experiences and bounced back with surprising fortitude and confidence.
Despite this confidence, she still suffers from a lack of self esteem, which Matt tries numerous times to refute. It was a little hard to see the veneer crack, but it was well-acted and timed.
Rating: 3.5/5 Bonedaddies.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Zombie Squad!
Survival of the...Jerks
Get Off My Lawn...
Director- Clint Eastwood
Starring- Clint Eastwood, Bee Vang, Ahney Her
Walter Kowalski (Eastwood) wants to spend his remaining years left alone. Having just lost his wife, he's digusted with the greedy behavior of his family, annoyed by the young priest who promised his wife he'd pay special attention to him, he's coughing up blood (an obvious foreshadow to his health), and is further disheartened to find a hmong family moving in next door. Despite his blatant racism, he is haunted by his wartime actions in Korea.
One night, he awakens to hear someone in his garage, trying to steal his 1972 Gran Torino. He grabs his old M1 and investigates, finding a young teenaged Hmong boy. He trips, the boy escapes, and he spends the next day trying to repair the broken entrance.
That night, some Hmong gangbangers stop by the house to recruit their young cousin, Thao (Vang). Thao's sister, Sue (Her) interferes, and the resulting conflict spreads to Kowalski's yard, bringing out Kowalski and his gun, as well as the soon-to-be famous utterance, "Get off my lawn!"
The gang backs off, Kowalski finds out Thao is the one who tried to steal his car, and tries for the next couple days to keep the Hmong neighbors from coming to his house to thank him for protecting them.
He finds himself in this role again, as Sue is threatened by some street toughs who find her in the "wrong" neighborhood. He faces down the hoodlums with a pistol, ordering Sue into his pickup. On the drive home, he unintendedly learns a few things about her culture and softens up.
Thinking his involvement with them over, he is continually annoyed as they keep coming back to invite him to a big family dinner, to make Thao repay through the labor the wrong done to Kowalski's garage, to thank him for turning Thao around into a responsible young man, etc. As they keep coming back, one can see the crusty veneer slowly falling away, and Kowalski, still referring to them as "zipperheads" and "swamp rats", develops a fondness for them that he apparently never had with his own family. He realizes how estranged he really has been when he tried to call his son for some small talk and receives a hurried and disinterested response.
The Hmong gang, however, isn't finished. After a sudden drive-by shooting, Sue is no where to be found. She is dropped off much later, beaten and raped severely. Kowalski has to keep Thao calm despite his own anger brimming over.
Father Janovich (Christopher Carley), who has been stopping in at random times, has become increasingly aware of Kowalski's behavior, and knows exactly what he's capable of. He also knows Kowalski can't be talked out of taking action. When Kowalski stops by the church the next day for confession (which he'd never done in his life), Father Janovich realizes the gravity of the situation in its fullest.
I'm going to stop the synopsis there. The movie is very intense. The characters don't give away too much of the plot in the first half hour (formulaic movies often do it within the first ten minutes), and what they don't tell you, the visuals do (i.e. Kowalski worked at a Ford factory until retirement. He is visibly perturbed as he watches his son driving away from the funeral in a Kia).
We are somewhat desensitized by the racist remarks, particularily because we can't keep up with them. Almost every other word that comes out of Kowalski's mouth is offensive. This turns out to be a verbal trap, because once we've made up our minds that he hates everyone and is generally just a bigot, we see his interaction with his barber, laced with Italian and Polish jokes going back and forth. This from two guys who like eachother.
Her's acting is at first a little forced. When she's teasing Kowalski about his ignorance and mispronunciation of Hmong, it wasn't very convincing. The way she explained her culture sounded a little too much like an educational kid's show. It does get better, however, as the drama and violence ensue.
Vang's performance is surprisingly effective, for its low-key nature. He comes off as a typical teenager with low self-esteem and no direction. As Kowalski works Thao, he actually takes him under his wing, becoming something of a reluctant parent to the kid.
Eastwood reprises his gruff "I don't like anyone" type of character and plays it as though it were his last role (in fact, he's said this is his last acting role in a movie). His constant grimace and annoyed guttural grunts are convincing as he faces Father Janovich, his nosy Hmong neighbors, and a family who finds him more of a massive headache than a family member.
There's also the immense sadness in his character, as well. His memory of Korea continues to haunt him. He never had a close relationship with his kids, and when he finally began trying, it was simply too late. His closer relationship with his Hmong neighbors further serves to remind him of his "former" life both in war and in family (even though the Hmong are Chinese).
The movie, despite its drama, is peppered with humor as Kowalski, having trouble remembering Asian names, makes simple substitutes (Toad=Thao, YumYum=Youa).
I expected the ending, but it was no less heart-stopping. It only lasts a couple minutes, but it feels like forever. It takes something of a Martyr-ish turn, but man, what a movie! Well-done, Clint Eastwood.
Rating: 5/5 Bonedaddies.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
The Title Doesn't Do the Film Justice
Director- L.Q. Jones
Starring- Don Johnson, Susanne Benton, Tim McIntire
Vic (Johnson) and his dog Blood (voiced by McIntire) roam the postapocalyptic countryside on the lookout for food. Vic somehow has the power to communicate with Blood via telepathy, and any novelty he may have felt in the beginning has appeared to have worn off, as the two constantly bicker during their journey. Despite the gnawing hunger, as well as Vic's "man needs", the pair stick together through good and bad.
What really brings the strange element home for this movie is the ending, which I won't give away, except to say I was very amused by the little turn of events.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Oddly Not So Boring For the Thin Plot
Director- Monty Hellman
Starring- James Taylor, Warren Oates, Dennis Wilson
A couple drifting gearheads driving a '55 Chevy get themselves into a cross-country race with "pink slips" on the line against a GTO driver (Oates) who likes fibbing about his life to hitchhikers he picks up along the way. Speaking of hitchhikers, the duo find themselves with a female stowaway/possible love interest who looks like a minor.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Not So Fabulous Lifestyles...
Director- Lou Adler
Starring- Diane Lane, Ray Winstone, Laura Dern
Corinne Burns (Lane), an orphaned, angst-ridden teen living in a washed-up town forms a band with two of her cousins and strikes a chord with other disillusioned youth. Soon the band finds themselves headlining with the Looters, and Burns sees all the good and bad sides to touring.
Her fans imitate her, seeing in her that part of them that wanted to scream out all their lives and thinking themselves unique, when the Looters' frontman Billy (Winstone) gives them--and Corinne--a rude awakening.
It was cool to see some vastly different personalities in these bands. Billy and Corinne are both brooding and insecure, trying to give the audiences something different while keeping their integrity somewhat intact. Corinne's cousins act and feel as if they're simply along for the ride--which they are. They can barely play any instruments, have little money, and soon miss their home lives as the road becomes longer.
There are also some interesting personalities in the Metal Corpses, essentially a has-been band trying to keep itself alive with a strange frontman who managed to so far stave off STD's and a drugged addled guitarist who probably never knew where he was.
All roles were played very well, very convincingly. The advice from the "has-beens" goes unheeded, and ironically makes sense. It's a good depiction of band relations/tensions, broken families, and also kids coming to the realization that for all the bad in their lives, they are in fact still kids.
Rating: 4/5 Bonedaddies.
Nachooooooo!
Director- Jared Hess
Starring- Jack Black, Ana de la Reguera, Hector Jimenez
Brother Ignacio (Black), an orphan-turned-monastery cook has big dreams of becoming a luchador. Unfortunately, the order considers it sinful, so Ignacio hides his identity and becomes Nacho. He and his partner, Esquelito (Jimenez) jump into the Mexican wrestling world, trying to win money to improve the food at the monastery, as well as the respect of the orphans living there and the love of Sister Encarnacion (Reguera).
For the most part, this isn't a bad movie. It has a lot of great elements to it--the most obvious being that it's about lucha libre! It also has good supporting cast. Reguera is subdued, but never overdramatizes the piety of her character. Jimenez is a personal favorite. His sidekick performance is so dedicated it reminds me of the caddy from Happy Gilmore, or Cornfed from Duckman.
Unfortunately, it has Jack Black. This is not an attack on his acting--he is actually quite capable of pulling off convincing and funny roles. It's just that after 10 minutes of Jack doing his routine, I had enough. I might not be sick of it, except that he does it in every movie he's ever starred in--the wild gesticulating while singing, the mouthed solos, it just doesn't do much for me. It worked better in movies like High Fidelity, School of Rock, and Pick of Destiny. Again, the performance that really stood out as funny was that done by Jimenez.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
A Campbell Masterpiece!
Witches & Ballet? Warning: A Couple Spoilers...
Director- Dario Argento
Starring- Jessica Harper, Stefania Casini, Flavio Bucci
American ballet dancer Suzy Bannion (Harper) travels to Germany to attend a presitgious dance academy only to find mystery and danger surrounding the building. Murders continue to occur after her arrival, and Suzy, terrified, must find out what is behind it all. What she uncovers is a deep historical involvement between the academy and witchcraft, and she must figure out a way to destroy it before she becomes the next victim.
Like the description? It's slightly more interesting to read than to watch the movie itself. The pace of the movie tries to move along evenly, but too many scenes drag on endlessly before switching to an interesting part. The murder scenes were pretty interesting, and creatively done at times, like the barbwire room.
The ending played out okay, but the idea that the original witch was still alive but invisible (through a spell I think) was a bit too silly for me. And for some reason I expected a lesbian love scene, though there were no indicators. I know I have no right to be disappointed, but I do.
Rating: 3/5 Bonedaddies.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Can't Pull Your Eyes Away
Director- John McNaughton
Starring- Michael Rooker, Tracy Arnold, Tom Towles
Ex-stripper Becky (Arnold) shacks up with her brother Otis (Towles) to escape a bad home situation and ends up meeting his roommate, Henry (Rooker). They hit it off, but there's tension with Otis in the home. Otis makes some innappropriate advances toward his own sister, and Henry is quick to defend her. In an effort to make up and blow off some steam, The two get a couple hookers. Otis witnesses Henry choke one of them to death, then break the other's neck, and is horrified.
As he learns more about Henry, however, Otis becomes curious himself about what it feels like and is recruited into serial killer training. They use their sadistic hobby to obtain some nicer things for themselves like a television and video camera. Unfortunately for Henry, tensions flare up again when Otis starts becoming sexually obsessed with his victims. Things come to a head as Henry catches Otis attempting to rape his own sister, and knows he must get her out of there, even if he still sees her as a potential victim.
This movie was incredible to watch, and VERY well-written. Henry doesn't give much of himself away through words, but shows a lot through actions and reactions. When the three are dancing around for their new video camera, Henry is instructed by Otis to watch Becky dance. This brings on some bad memories of his mother, and Henry quietly pleads for Otis to stop, and seems on the verge of tears. This particular scene is so out of regular character for Henry, which makes it all the more disturbing, since it lays bare one of the troubled corners of his mind.
It's interesting to note some sympathy with Henry throughout th movie, while at the same time, he is a sick serial killer. He becomes both the villian and the hero, and then the villian again, as the movie progresses. The ending is great. For such a simple ending, I didn't really see it coming. Who knew he'd "take one for the road"?
Rating: 5/5 Bonedaddies.
The Title Says it All...
Director- Alex Nicol
Starring- John Hudson, Peggy Weber, Alex Nicol
Eric Whitlock (Hudson) brings his new wife Jenni (Weber) to a large house he once shared with his late wife, Marian. As the couple tries to settle in, Jenni begins to see and hear a skull in different places, and her history of mental illness is blamed.
The gardner, Mickey (Nicol), tended to the grounds since Marian was alive. He was very close to her and took her death hard, leading some to think he may have been behind it. Unfortunately, the horrific story goes far deeper than someone using a skull to scare someone else.
I loved that this movie started right out with 'Dance of the Dead' music accompanying. The plot twist was a little predictable, but still pretty entertaining, and the acting wasn't too bad all around. I thought the gardner was pretty clever for comeing off as slightly mentally handicapped.
Rating: 3/5 Bonedaddies.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Manster? Really? MANSTER!?
Director- George P. Breakston, Kenneth G. Crane
Starring- Peter Dyneley, Tetsu Nakamura, Terri Zimmern
Reporter Larry Stanford (Dyneley) spends time in Japan and meets up with Dr. Suzuki (Nakamura) who conducts strange esperiments. While there, he is drugged and injected with a serum that is meant to turn him into a monster. Unaware of what the doctor has done, he befriends the doctor and soon turns his back on his wife at home for the doctor's more lascivious lifestyle.
As the days pass, Stanford spends more and more time with Dr. Suzuki's assistant, Tara (Zimmern). As others notice his dramatic shift in personality, Stanford notices an increasing irritation in his shoulder. He gets a tad worried when he discovers an eye on his shoulder, which evolves into a face, then a head. Stanford loses his mind and becomes a monster, going on a murder spree.
The effects are okay for the late 1950's, but what annoys me is the whole good vs. evil concept and the "moral" being that there are things we may not be meant to understand, so we shouldn't mess with them. And whose idea was it to call the movie Manster? It sounds like his mom named him.
All That's Missing is a Psychadelic Van and a Great Dane...
"Head" Case
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Feed Me, Seymour!
See You On the Other Side?
Monday, March 30, 2009
That Lighthouse Needs Fixing...
Director- Bert I. Gordon
Starring- Richard Carlson, Susan Gordon, Juli Reding
Tom (Carlson) is all set to get married. Trouble is, he has to ditch his mistress, Vi (Reding). Vi isn't too thrilled with being cut loose, and attempts to blackmail him. She underestimates his desperation to maintain secrecy, however, and gets herself dropped from a lighthouse.
Tom, thinking he's free, goes on with his new life, but is soon disturbed by visions of body parts showing up in various places. He soon sees Vi's head in his living room and pleads with her to leave him alone. In the meantime, an old associate of Vi's stops in town looking for her. He finds out about her relationship with Tom and tries his own hand at blackmail, which gets him killed as well.
The effects aren't bad for a 1960 movie, the acting is alright, and there are a few suspenseful moments, even if the build-up to the ending was a bit predictable. It was a good ghost story, though, and kept up pace well so as not to bore too easily.
Rating: 3.5/5 Bonedaddies.
The First Slasher Flick? YES!
Friday, March 20, 2009
Kooky But Creepy, a Good "Silent Slasher"-Type Flick
Director- Lucio Fulci
Starring- Catriona MacColl, Paolo Malco, Giovanni Frezza
A family moves into a house, the basement of which is inhabited by a demonic killer who uses the bodies of his victims to rejuvinate his own cells.
I have to say that the Halloweeny 1980's synth music is hypnotic. It sounds as good as it sounds bad, and it's impossible to stop listening to during the opening sequences. In that same vein, the movie itself is mostly a little silly-looking. The styles, the acting, it's all a little hit/miss. That's okay, though, because the creepy killer element comes alive during the shots of the basement killer, slowly stepping up the steps toward whoever gets themselves locked on the wrong side of the door.
Without giving too much away, I was surprised to see him kill characters I honestly didn't think would die. That's mediterranean horror for you, keeps you thinking. The ending becomes stressful to watch, then morphs into a completely bizarre but happy (I guess?) conclusion.
I was pleasantly surprised by the movie in spite of all the bad things about it.
Rating: 4/5 Bonedaddies.
This Movie is a Gay-Bash Itself
Director- Jaymes Thompson
Starring- Sean Abley, Lisa Block-Wieser, Georgia Jean
Some gay couples enroute to some convention get holed up in a B&B run by a god-fearing crazy woman and her seemingly simpleton daughter. We soon find out the daughter has a little lesbian in her, which her mother tries to squash, scream and beat out of her every chance she gets, and things take a gruesome turn as bodies start turning up.
This movie isn't worth much of my time. I like low-budget flicks that make you forget money had anything to do with them due to ingenuity of the director & crew. This one constantly reminded me how cheap it was, mainly by showing me how forced the actors were in their roles.
There are a couple of funny "twists" regarding the daughter and her upbringing, as well as spurned gay lovers finding happiness in a hetero/transvestite relationship.
The ending ain't half bad, though the acting makes it not particularily good, either.
Rating: 2/5 Bonedaddies.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Blues Legends Collide
Director- Walter Hill
Starring- Ralph Macchio, Joe Seneca, Jami Gertz
Classical guitar prodigy and aspiring blues musician Eugene (Macchio) discovers that Willie Brown (Seneca), a blues legend and friend to the (in)famous Robert Johnson is holed up in a hospital nearby. Eugene finds him and manages to smuggle him out of the hospital so they can find the "Crossroads" where he and Johnson both made their deals to become famous, and Eugene can learn of Johnson's "final song", which was never recorded and which Willie supposedly knows. Along the way, they trade out Eugene's guitar for a Fender Telecaster & pignose amp, Eugene learns to play with a slide, they cross paths with teenaged drifter Frances (Gertz), Eugene falls in love & gets his heart broken, and finds the real meaning behind blues.
There is tons of great guitar playing, some great interaction between Eugene and Willie (especially in tense moments, like when he accuses Willie of being a fake), and an unlikely-but fun scene in which Willie saves Eugene's bacon by getting him to play on stage in a bar full of black people in a heavily segregated part of town.
In the end, they make their destination, and Willie meets up with the "grandson" of his dealmaker. H invites Willie to a contest, which Eugene accepts in his stead, and we're treated to a real guitar duel between Eugene and "Jack Butler" (Steve Vai). The contest is incredible, and Eugene finds he must employ his classical training to help get an edge on Butler.
I had a little theory that Willie Brown is the Devil himself in this movie, shaking hands with Eugene at the end and promising to make him a great blues musician. It would have been a pretty good punchline, but I don't think the theory holds much weight. Just a fun thought.
Rating: 5/5 Bonedaddies.
Not Dolemite, DYNAMITE!
Director- Gilbert Moses
Starring- Roscoe Orman, Diana Sands, Thalmus Rasulala
A powerful pimp named Willie Dynamite (Orman) tries to maintain his #1 status around town, but zealous police efforts make his business suffer greatly. Things are further complicated for him when Cora (Sands), a former prostitute-turned social worker, makes contact with his girls and tries to convince them to leave the business.
The story begins a bit shallow, but as it moves forward, Willie's personality comes out and he seems to actually be an okay guy--until you're reminded of the fact that he's a business-minded pimp who slaps his girls around. I like how this perception can shift so rapidly, especially when he's visiting his mother and sister, and we see an utterly normal side to him (at least as normal as 70's clothes can make you look, anyway).
The story shifts dramatically when one of his young models tries to quit to become a model, and ends up being disfigured in a fight. Willie is brought to trial, and his mother and sister see him for the pimp he is. You can actually see the shame he's feeling, seeing their reactions.
Willie is the vilian in this story, but he also is the protagonist who decides to make a change in his life. I don't know if I'd go so far as to call him the hero of the story, that would actually be Cora. She comes off as a strong woman who has seen and been caught up in some bad things in her past, but has managed to come through it with a lot of street smarts. One detects some remaining feelings for Willie, however, and this puts an immense strain on her relationship with her boyfriend, the DA.
I was pleasantly surprised that there was an excellent story going on here, and it wasn't hard to see through all the feathers and fur coats and pimpin' cadillacs to find it.
Rating: 4/5 Bonedaddies.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Another Friday the 13th, This One Not So Bad
Director- Marcus Nispel
Starring- Jared Padalecki, Danielle Panabaker, Derek Mears
Years after the original slayings at Camp Crystal Lak,e, five teens explore the area, looking for a rumored marijuana crop growing wild, hoping to cash in. That night, after some gratuitous sexual play, Jason Voorhees (Mears) stalks them. One by one, they fall prey as he mercilessly (and creatively slaughters all but one.
Fast forward six months later. Clay (Padalecki) is searching for his sister, Jenna (Panabaker), who was one of the five from that night. He has a run in with a group of rich kids, led by Trent (Travis Van Winkle in an utterly convincing role), on their way to his parents' vacation home for a raucous weekend party. Trent's girlfriend feels sorry for Clay, and eventually agrees to help him look for his sister.
This might lead to a love interest. but that darn maniacal slasher is on the loose!
Keep in mind, this is a reimagining of the original. What's the difference? A remake is virtually a scene-for-scene reproduction, updated to a current genre. A reimagining takes an existing origin and throws a new story into it as though it was the first. Jason starts off with only a cloth bandage covering his face. We find out he was into hockey as a kid from little tidbits around his room. When he sees the hockey mask for the first time, we think, of course he gravitates toward that, it stirs up a memory from his childhood, and it hides his "ugliness".
I can't help but compare this a little to Rob Zombie's reimagining of Halloween from 2007. Is this movie good? Yes. But is it rob Zombie good? No. Zombie set the bar pretty high for making a strong horror movie that just sticks with you long after seeing it, and Nispel's reimagining of the Voorhees legend doesn't quiiiiite measure up to that. Regardless, it is still an excellent slasher flick. It's not very difficult to predict who gets killed, but it's harder to figure out how they get killed. Jason proves himself more human in this movie by actually running after his prey, as well as going into a silent rage every once ina while rather than acting stoic. He still never talks, so that has a pretty good effect altogether.
The ending is classic Firday the 13th, but still felt like it belonged more than any other ending that could have been dreamed up.
Rating: 4 Bonedaddies.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
The "Rock 'n' Roll N****r Experience"
Friday, February 13, 2009
An Incredible Rumble of a Flick
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Darktown...What?!
Boy Who Cried Wolf!
Director- Paul Annett
Starring- Calvin Lockhart, Peter Cushing, Marlene Clark
Eight guests are invited to a rich game hunter's estate only to be told they are suspected of lycanthropy. The hunter, Tom (Lockhart), must use his wits, his superior 1970's technology and his shiny leather clothes to find who is wolfing out.
Despite the superfly dress of Tom, this was a pretty good movie. There was no attempt at utilizing special effects to show a werewolf metamorphosis, just real wolves. There were a few suspenseful moments, and the action scenes ain't half bad. A game comes with the movie so that the watcher can become involved and try to gues who it is while the movie is playing (I did not have the game).
The movie seemed to reveal more about Tom's growing madness than about who was the werewolf up until the end.
Rating: 3/5 Bonedaddies.
Geronimonsters!
Director-Glasgow Phillips
Starring- Chris Kattan, James Denton, Navi Rawat
Elmer (Denton) and Luke (Kattan) escape from jail just in time to escape a zombie curse bestowed upon white men(?) by Geronimo before he died. They don't get very far out of town when they have a run-in with Sue, an indian girl with a big bone to pick with the U.S. Army for killing her uncle--Geronimo.
Problems escalate when A. the Army catches up with Elmer and he finds out they're also zombies, and B. Elmer and Luke are bitten and must figure out how to not become zombies.
I've seen (horribly done) vampire westerns, but never a zombie western. Fortunately, this one was done with humor in mind, and done right at that. I was a little surprised to see Denton take a break from Desperate Housewives for this, but he proved himself a very capable actor opposite Kattan.
Phillips seems to deliberately break some classic cinematic rules in this movie, starting with letting Kattan's dorky sidekick character get it on with Sue, instead of Denton's tall dark stranger character. It also ends on a completely different note from what one might expect, which made this movie a great one to remember. I won't spoil it here, but lets just say that while it's not my "favorite" type of ending, it's definitely a close 2nd. Technically, there are two endings, one of them involving the first zombie seen in the movie. That ending was great, too.
One of my favorite scenes is when Elmer and Sue are having an intense argument over evolution, and Elmer ends the argument by asking her what book she's been reading (this movie takes place just before Origin of Species and the popularity of Darwinism, I assume).
The silliest part? When someone screams "Geronimonster"!
Rating: 4/5
Why Would Young People Be So Violent?
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Curse of Myth-Believers!
Director- Jacques Tourneur
Starring- Dana Andrews, Peggy Cummins, Niall MacGinnis
American Psychologist Dr. John Holden (Andrews) journeys to London to debunk the supposed powers of a devil-worshipping cult lead by charismatic Dr. Julian Karswell (MacGinnis). Upon arrival, he learns that his colleague, Professor Harrington, had been killed near Karswell's home. He meets Harrington's niece, Joanna (Cummins), and together they set out to investigate the professor's death.
During their investigation, Holden accidentally comes into possession of a note, upon which is written a curse informing him of his death. He learns that Harrington was also given such a note, just before he died. The only way, apparently, to release himself from the curse was to give it to the one who gave it to him in the first place.
Acting is typical of a 1950's flick; stiff acting from the men, timidity from the women (though Joanna was very pushy and not willing to let her uncle's death go unnoticed by the authorities). The medium was played well enough, and his transition into different personalities looked natural. The hypnotized patient was also exceptionally effective, even if his part was short-lived.
There are a few suspensful moments when Holden is trying to trick Karswell into taking the note--it's actually a little entertaining to watch Karswell's paranoia grow as he refuses Holden's offer to even shake hands.
The demon itself was done surprisingly well for 1950's special effects technology. It's pretty creepy and foreboding. The greatest part of the movie comes close to the end, when Karswell is fleeing the presence of the demon himself, and before we see any horrors, a train comes screaming past, cutting off our view of Karswell.
The only thing that really bothered me about this movie was that Holden was the only rational one there. He conversed with other "professors" about Karswell, and they all tended to agree that there was something supernaturally sinister about him. Men of science should never imply that some things can't be explained.
Jersey Devil? Where?
Director- Dante Tomaselli
Starring- Felissa Rose, Irma St. Paule, Christie Sanford
A bickering family finds themselves stranded within the Jersey Pine Barrens on their way to a camp ground. When they can't free themselves, husband Frank (Salvatore Paul Piro) ventures out for help. He happens upon an old house and is greeted by old Ms. Leeds (St. Paule) and her nurse, Judy (Sanford). Frank soon meets the extended family in a horrific manner.
When Frank fails to return, wife Donna (Rose) takes off looking for them. The same fate appears to befall her. One by one, the family disappears into the wilderness, only to stumble upon the same house. Donna escapes and returns the next day with police, but after the initial introduction to Ms. Leeds, more carnage occurs.
The first twenty-or so minutes of this movie were very boring and uneventful. I understand they were trying to establish the "unhappy family trying to have a good vacation" motif, but that became apparent early on, and wasn't necessary to play out for the next eighteen minutes.
The Satanic rituals going on in the backyard of the house were cool, but not elaborated on. I figured they had something to do with the "Jersey Devil" legend, but nothing was really explained about it, and it wasn't really even brought up again after the first occurrence.
The acting was okay--the only noteworthy performance would probably be Christie Sanford, whose creepy nurse came just shy of being over-the-top and Tim Burton-esque.
Despite its negative aspects, it is still a very good example of making a creepy movie on a very small budget.
Rating: 3/5 Bonedaddies.
Friday, January 2, 2009
An Un-Botched Story
Director- Kit Ryan
Starring- Stephen Dorff, Jaime Murray, Edward Baker-Duly
Ritchie (Dorff) ends up being blamed for a heist gone wrong. To make things right, his boss, Mr Groznyi (Sean Pertwee), sends him to Russia to steal a priceless antique cross. With the help of two brothers, one of whom is psychotic and the other weak-willed, Ritchie manages to get stuck in an elevator with a small group of people on the 13th floor of th building. When they do get out of the elevator, their hostage situation takes turns for the worse when a maniac makes his presence known. The burden falls on Ritchie to find the cross (and figure out why his boss would want it so badly) and get out with all his parts.
I intentionally left out some key details here, no spoilers allowed in this particular review. Why? Because I actually thoroughly enjoyed it, and there are other parts to the plot that make themselves revealed further in the movie. It's the type of movie that's best left for the viewer to figure out for themselves.
Dorff delivers his lines with the deliberate grace of Kiefer Sutherland. Much of the humor is deadpan, which makes it funnier given the horror the characters face. The acting from the others is a tad overdone, but this is okay, given the fanaticism revealed down the line.
The music is the most entertaining part. Hearing the Red Elvises made me nearly jump out of my seat with excitement (I'm a fan)! It also at times takes a hilarious turn to the 1980's, broadening already eccentric horizons. It was very imaginative and well-put-together.
Rating: 4/5 Bonedaddies.
But I'm Filled With Innuendo!
Director- Jamie Babbit
Starring- Natasha Lyonne, Michelle Williams, Ru Paul
High school cheerleader Megan (Lyonne) is sent to a homosexual "rehabilitation" camp after her parents suspect her of being gay. Within the camp she meets and interacts with characters representing different stereotypes of homosexuality, which include even the counselors.
She also learns about gender roles in American society and where her place is apparently supposed to be within them. The girls all have to wear pink, the boys blue. The girls have to learn to cook and take care of babies, the boys have to play football and hunt.
When the rehabilitants are instructed to buddy up for some of the exercises, Megan is paired up with Kimberly (Williams), a not-quite-goth with an attitude. The attraction is quick but subtle, but the more Megan tries to focus on rehabilitating her sexuality, the more she finds herself thinking about Kimberly.
One night the rehabilitants, with the aide of two older ex-rehabilitants, escape from the camp and spend the evening at a gay club. After a close dance and a forbidden kiss, Megan runs off, confused about her feelings.
There were some cookie-cutter plot points in this movie, but they were worked out pretty smoothly and one event flowed into another as we saw more into the personalities behind the stereotypes. The family life and biases are also revealed when the parents of the campers come to visit.
The sexual innuendo wasn't by any means restricted to Freudian humor within the lines spoken by the characters, it was also vry visual, from the tight jean shorts worn by some of the counselors to the phallic imagery visible...well, everywhere in the film.
Natasha Lyonne, as usual, takes on a difficult part and runs screaming with it. The result is great acting and convincing emotions. She also has the abililty to take something like masturbation out of the hands of a female porn star and make it (without showing detail, of course) look believable and human.
It's a little disappointing that it turns out to be just another teen love story (thoug one with a slight twist), but not surprising. At least the acting was well-done and the symbolic cinematography was excellent.
Rating: 3/5 Bonedaddies