That Lighthouse Needs Fixing...

Tormented (1960)
Director- Bert I. Gordon
Starring- Richard Carlson, Susan Gordon, Juli Reding

Tom (Carlson) is all set to get married. Trouble is, he has to ditch his mistress, Vi (Reding). Vi isn't too thrilled with being cut loose, and attempts to blackmail him. She underestimates his desperation to maintain secrecy, however, and gets herself dropped from a lighthouse.

Tom, thinking he's free, goes on with his new life, but is soon disturbed by visions of body parts showing up in various places. He soon sees Vi's head in his living room and pleads with her to leave him alone. In the meantime, an old associate of Vi's stops in town looking for her. He finds out about her relationship with Tom and tries his own hand at blackmail, which gets him killed as well.

The effects aren't bad for a 1960 movie, the acting is alright, and there are a few suspenseful moments, even if the build-up to the ending was a bit predictable. It was a good ghost story, though, and kept up pace well so as not to bore too easily.

Rating: 3.5/5 Bonedaddies.

The First Slasher Flick? YES!

Maniac (1934)

Director-Dwain Esper

Starring- William Woods, Horace Carpenter, Phyllis Diller

An ex-vaudeville actor, Don Maxwell (Woods) plays assistant to the mad doctor Meirschultz (Carpenter). Dr. Meirschultz asks too much when he wants Maxwell to commit suicide that he may test a reanimation serum on him. Maxwell is resistant to the idea and ends up killing the doctor in the ensuing altercation. Fearing repercussions from the police, he assumes the doctor's identity and goes on for some time in the ruse, coming into contact with a few patients suffering different types of mental illnesses as illustrated by title cards placed on the screen at appropriate times. He's eventually found out by the police whe search his office and discover the real doctor's corpse hidden in a wall (just like Poe's The Black Cat).

Considered one of the earliest "slasher" flicks ever made (mainly because no one can find the 1926 version of Sweeney Todd?), this movie represents the apex of Esper's amateur filmmaking career. The plot isn't very clear at times, copies Poe at other times, but is overall a very entertaining movie.

The acting is stiff, especially from the morgue employees (no pun intended), one of whom reminded me a little of Karl Childers (you know, from Sling Blade?).

The demonic dream sequences/hallucinations mark perhaps one of the most visually effective parts of the movie, as well as the most memorable, though it sometimes felt like I was watching a play within the movie. A very cool film for 1934!

Rating: 4/5 Bonedaddies.

Kooky But Creepy, a Good "Silent Slasher"-Type Flick

The House By the Cemetery (1981)
Director- Lucio Fulci
Starring- Catriona MacColl, Paolo Malco, Giovanni Frezza

A family moves into a house, the basement of which is inhabited by a demonic killer who uses the bodies of his victims to rejuvinate his own cells.

I have to say that the Halloweeny 1980's synth music is hypnotic. It sounds as good as it sounds bad, and it's impossible to stop listening to during the opening sequences. In that same vein, the movie itself is mostly a little silly-looking. The styles, the acting, it's all a little hit/miss. That's okay, though, because the creepy killer element comes alive during the shots of the basement killer, slowly stepping up the steps toward whoever gets themselves locked on the wrong side of the door.

Without giving too much away, I was surprised to see him kill characters I honestly didn't think would die. That's mediterranean horror for you, keeps you thinking. The ending becomes stressful to watch, then morphs into a completely bizarre but happy (I guess?) conclusion.

I was pleasantly surprised by the movie in spite of all the bad things about it.

Rating: 4/5 Bonedaddies.

This Movie is a Gay-Bash Itself

The Gay Bed and Breakfast of Terror (2007)
Director- Jaymes Thompson
Starring- Sean Abley, Lisa Block-Wieser, Georgia Jean

Some gay couples enroute to some convention get holed up in a B&B run by a god-fearing crazy woman and her seemingly simpleton daughter. We soon find out the daughter has a little lesbian in her, which her mother tries to squash, scream and beat out of her every chance she gets, and things take a gruesome turn as bodies start turning up.

This movie isn't worth much of my time. I like low-budget flicks that make you forget money had anything to do with them due to ingenuity of the director & crew. This one constantly reminded me how cheap it was, mainly by showing me how forced the actors were in their roles.

There are a couple of funny "twists" regarding the daughter and her upbringing, as well as spurned gay lovers finding happiness in a hetero/transvestite relationship.

The ending ain't half bad, though the acting makes it not particularily good, either.
Rating: 2/5 Bonedaddies.

Blues Legends Collide

Crossroads (1986)
Director- Walter Hill
Starring- Ralph Macchio, Joe Seneca, Jami Gertz

Classical guitar prodigy and aspiring blues musician Eugene (Macchio) discovers that Willie Brown (Seneca), a blues legend and friend to the (in)famous Robert Johnson is holed up in a hospital nearby. Eugene finds him and manages to smuggle him out of the hospital so they can find the "Crossroads" where he and Johnson both made their deals to become famous, and Eugene can learn of Johnson's "final song", which was never recorded and which Willie supposedly knows. Along the way, they trade out Eugene's guitar for a Fender Telecaster & pignose amp, Eugene learns to play with a slide, they cross paths with teenaged drifter Frances (Gertz), Eugene falls in love & gets his heart broken, and finds the real meaning behind blues.

There is tons of great guitar playing, some great interaction between Eugene and Willie (especially in tense moments, like when he accuses Willie of being a fake), and an unlikely-but fun scene in which Willie saves Eugene's bacon by getting him to play on stage in a bar full of black people in a heavily segregated part of town.

In the end, they make their destination, and Willie meets up with the "grandson" of his dealmaker. H invites Willie to a contest, which Eugene accepts in his stead, and we're treated to a real guitar duel between Eugene and "Jack Butler" (Steve Vai). The contest is incredible, and Eugene finds he must employ his classical training to help get an edge on Butler.

I had a little theory that Willie Brown is the Devil himself in this movie, shaking hands with Eugene at the end and promising to make him a great blues musician. It would have been a pretty good punchline, but I don't think the theory holds much weight. Just a fun thought.

Rating: 5/5 Bonedaddies.

Not Dolemite, DYNAMITE!

Willie Dynamite (1974)
Director- Gilbert Moses
Starring- Roscoe Orman, Diana Sands, Thalmus Rasulala

A powerful pimp named Willie Dynamite (Orman) tries to maintain his #1 status around town, but zealous police efforts make his business suffer greatly. Things are further complicated for him when Cora (Sands), a former prostitute-turned social worker, makes contact with his girls and tries to convince them to leave the business.

The story begins a bit shallow, but as it moves forward, Willie's personality comes out and he seems to actually be an okay guy--until you're reminded of the fact that he's a business-minded pimp who slaps his girls around. I like how this perception can shift so rapidly, especially when he's visiting his mother and sister, and we see an utterly normal side to him (at least as normal as 70's clothes can make you look, anyway).

The story shifts dramatically when one of his young models tries to quit to become a model, and ends up being disfigured in a fight. Willie is brought to trial, and his mother and sister see him for the pimp he is. You can actually see the shame he's feeling, seeing their reactions.

Willie is the vilian in this story, but he also is the protagonist who decides to make a change in his life. I don't know if I'd go so far as to call him the hero of the story, that would actually be Cora. She comes off as a strong woman who has seen and been caught up in some bad things in her past, but has managed to come through it with a lot of street smarts. One detects some remaining feelings for Willie, however, and this puts an immense strain on her relationship with her boyfriend, the DA.

I was pleasantly surprised that there was an excellent story going on here, and it wasn't hard to see through all the feathers and fur coats and pimpin' cadillacs to find it.

Rating: 4/5 Bonedaddies.