Zombie Squad!

The Dead Next Door (1989)

Director- J.R. Bookwalter

Starring- Pete Ferry, Michael Grossi, Robert Kokai

Years after zombie infestation, a government agency called the "Zombie Squad" is out patrolling the region, exterminating zombies and and collecting un-exterminated ones for medical experimentation in hopes of finding a cure.

Raimi (Ferry), and his crew must find the lab of Dr. Bow, the doctor said to have inadvertantly started the infestation with his formula. Their mission is made more urgent when Mercer (Grossi) is bitten and infected. Dr. Moulsson (Bogdan Pecic, who couldn't be bothered to take off his cap for the role) accompanies them, caring more about the formula than the people infected.

Along the way, the crew runs afoul of a religious cult bent on keeping the zombies alive and believing them to be a sign of the coming apocalypse. The cult, led by Reverend Jones (Kokai) consists of run-of-the-mill cult psychos, as well as "brainwashed" kidnapping victims, including Dr. Bow's own daughter.

Moulsson finds the formula, and once it is concocted, he promptly injects the unconcious Mercer with it, not knowing what effect it will have. Mercer is soon after kidnapped by Rev. Jones, and the crew tracks him to his compound.

In saving Mercer all Hell breaks loose with gunshots and fanatics rushing soldiers. Rev. Jones flees to loose his hoard of zombies, getting himself killed in the process. Mercer turns into a zombie, but the formula reaction causes him to retain his human thought, a ghastly addition to his zombie urges.

The zombie infestation seems to be winning out by the end, and with the help of the formula, a new type of zombie evolves, and one of my favorite endings plays out, but with a great humorous twist.

Acting was bad, effects were cheap but well-thought-out. The story went along great--in fact, the story kept this movie alive in spite of the dismal budget. Also, the constant name-references to horror greats like John Carpenter, Tom Savini, and Sam Raimi (Bruce Campbell even did a couple voice overs!) was fitting. I was surprised there was no Jackson or Romero, however.

Rating: 3.5/5 Bonedaddies.

All That's Missing is a Psychadelic Van and a Great Dane...

I Eat Your Skin (1964)

Director- Del Tenney

Starring- William Joyce, Walter Coy, Robert Stanton

Famous author Tom Harris (Joyce) journeys to "Voodoo Island" with his agent to research his next book. There he finds a beautiful young lady enjoying the tropical life and her father, who once was trying to find a cure for cancer but now is forced by the leader of the island to turn men into fearless, mindless zombies to be used as pawns for world domination--and Haitian-style voodoo rituals. Love the voodoo leader's wtich doctor style, by the way.

The effects are cheap, but still very creepy and effective--especially those freaky big fake eyes on the zombies! The acting is stiff, but the scenery of the island is beautiful to look at (even in black and white). Also, the story runs along at a pretty even pace, for a B flick. There is no eating of skin, however, so the title is misleading. It would have been better if they had left the "Zombie" title on, or maybe named it "Voodoo Island" or "Zombie Ruler" or something.

Rating: 3.5/5 Bonedaddies.

Geronimonsters!

Undead or Alive (2007)
Director-Glasgow Phillips
Starring- Chris Kattan, James Denton, Navi Rawat

Elmer (Denton) and Luke (Kattan) escape from jail just in time to escape a zombie curse bestowed upon white men(?) by Geronimo before he died. They don't get very far out of town when they have a run-in with Sue, an indian girl with a big bone to pick with the U.S. Army for killing her uncle--Geronimo.

Problems escalate when A. the Army catches up with Elmer and he finds out they're also zombies, and B. Elmer and Luke are bitten and must figure out how to not become zombies.
I've seen (horribly done) vampire westerns, but never a zombie western. Fortunately, this one was done with humor in mind, and done right at that. I was a little surprised to see Denton take a break from Desperate Housewives for this, but he proved himself a very capable actor opposite Kattan.

Phillips seems to deliberately break some classic cinematic rules in this movie, starting with letting Kattan's dorky sidekick character get it on with Sue, instead of Denton's tall dark stranger character. It also ends on a completely different note from what one might expect, which made this movie a great one to remember. I won't spoil it here, but lets just say that while it's not my "favorite" type of ending, it's definitely a close 2nd. Technically, there are two endings, one of them involving the first zombie seen in the movie. That ending was great, too.

One of my favorite scenes is when Elmer and Sue are having an intense argument over evolution, and Elmer ends the argument by asking her what book she's been reading (this movie takes place just before Origin of Species and the popularity of Darwinism, I assume).

The silliest part? When someone screams "Geronimonster"!

Rating: 4/5

I Rule the Ghoul School! Not.

Ghoul School (1990)

Director- Timothy O'Rawe

Starring- William Friedman, Scott Gordon, Paul Venier

A couple small-time crooks try to get money hidden in the basement of a school one of them once attended. They find a hidden room, push a button on the wall, and somehow release toxic gas that turns people into flesh-eating zombie-type monsters. It sounds like a Troma film, and in fact has been compared to movies like Nuke 'em High. The difference is a smaller gore budget, and less acting abilities. The movie is a good indicator of where the youth of this were were in terms of late 1980's fashion, but otherwise is almost a total loss. The band that gets hired to play for the school is rehearsing in the auditorium at one point, and the music is so off-sync that the guitarist front man (the ONLY guitarist, mind you) sets his guitar down while we still hear a solo playing!

Everyone seems to get killed in the end.

Rating: Despite a good ending, it still only gets 1/5 Bonedaddies.