Good, Bad, I haven't met the movie I can't watch.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Zombie Squad!

Director- J.R. Bookwalter
Starring- Pete Ferry, Michael Grossi, Robert Kokai

Years after zombie infestation, a government agency called the "Zombie Squad" is out patrolling the region, exterminating zombies and and collecting un-exterminated ones for medical experimentation in hopes of finding a cure.

Raimi (Ferry), and his crew must find the lab of Dr. Bow, the doctor said to have inadvertantly started the infestation with his formula. Their mission is made more urgent when Mercer (Grossi) is bitten and infected. Dr. Moulsson (Bogdan Pecic, who couldn't be bothered to take off his cap for the role) accompanies them, caring more about the formula than the people infected.

Along the way, the crew runs afoul of a religious cult bent on keeping the zombies alive and believing them to be a sign of the coming apocalypse. The cult, led by Reverend Jones (Kokai) consists of run-of-the-mill cult psychos, as well as "brainwashed" kidnapping victims, including Dr. Bow's own daughter.

Moulsson finds the formula, and once it is concocted, he promptly injects the unconcious Mercer with it, not knowing what effect it will have. Mercer is soon after kidnapped by Rev. Jones, and the crew tracks him to his compound.

In saving Mercer all Hell breaks loose with gunshots and fanatics rushing soldiers. Rev. Jones flees to loose his hoard of zombies, getting himself killed in the process. Mercer turns into a zombie, but the formula reaction causes him to retain his human thought, a ghastly addition to his zombie urges.

The zombie infestation seems to be winning out by the end, and with the help of the formula, a new type of zombie evolves, and one of my favorite endings plays out, but with a great humorous twist.

Acting was bad, effects were cheap but well-thought-out. The story went along great--in fact, the story kept this movie alive in spite of the dismal budget. Also, the constant name-references to horror greats like John Carpenter, Tom Savini, and Sam Raimi (Bruce Campbell even did a couple voice overs!) was fitting. I was surprised there was no Jackson or Romero, however.

Rating: 3.5/5 Bonedaddies.

Survival of the...Jerks

Director- Jeff Crook
Starring- Jason Madera, Angela Grant, Josh Crook

Stuck in a loveless, childless marriage and a dead-end sales job, pushover Freddy (Madera) finds a mistress in coworker Jill (Christina Caparoula). Al (Crook), Freddy's boss and a self-proclaimed ladies' man, is not happy that Freddy took the woman he was apparently involved with. After a particular confrontation, Freddy gets the axe from his job, Al turns his attention to Mike (well-played by Christopher Ferry), an even bigger pushover with staggering niavete.

At a friendly barbecue, Al finds out Mike's attractive wife is a professional housecleaner and invites her to clean his house. While there, he pays her extra to give him oral sex, which she does, and he takes a polaroid shot, which he shows Mike later just to be a jerk.

Meanwhile, Freddy gets news that mistress Jill has become pregnant. She wants an abortion, he doesn't so he tries to hold her in her basement until he can convince her to keep the baby. His wife Grace (Grant) finds out and seeks out Al for a revenge tryst.

The characters all come tegether in various violent little conflicts through out the movie after this, and in the end Freddy and his wife reconcile with one or two little plot twists that I will not reveal. It's this little twist that makes it worth getting to the end of the movie.

Acting is not bad for a cheap Indie flick. The cast obvious put a lot of effort into their roles, and it shows.

Rating: 4/5 Bonedaddies.

Get Off My Lawn...

Gran Torino (2009)
Director- Clint Eastwood
Starring- Clint Eastwood, Bee Vang, Ahney Her

Walter Kowalski (Eastwood) wants to spend his remaining years left alone. Having just lost his wife, he's digusted with the greedy behavior of his family, annoyed by the young priest who promised his wife he'd pay special attention to him, he's coughing up blood (an obvious foreshadow to his health), and is further disheartened to find a hmong family moving in next door. Despite his blatant racism, he is haunted by his wartime actions in Korea.

One night, he awakens to hear someone in his garage, trying to steal his 1972 Gran Torino. He grabs his old M1 and investigates, finding a young teenaged Hmong boy. He trips, the boy escapes, and he spends the next day trying to repair the broken entrance.

That night, some Hmong gangbangers stop by the house to recruit their young cousin, Thao (Vang). Thao's sister, Sue (Her) interferes, and the resulting conflict spreads to Kowalski's yard, bringing out Kowalski and his gun, as well as the soon-to-be famous utterance, "Get off my lawn!"

The gang backs off, Kowalski finds out Thao is the one who tried to steal his car, and tries for the next couple days to keep the Hmong neighbors from coming to his house to thank him for protecting them.

He finds himself in this role again, as Sue is threatened by some street toughs who find her in the "wrong" neighborhood. He faces down the hoodlums with a pistol, ordering Sue into his pickup. On the drive home, he unintendedly learns a few things about her culture and softens up.

Thinking his involvement with them over, he is continually annoyed as they keep coming back to invite him to a big family dinner, to make Thao repay through the labor the wrong done to Kowalski's garage, to thank him for turning Thao around into a responsible young man, etc. As they keep coming back, one can see the crusty veneer slowly falling away, and Kowalski, still referring to them as "zipperheads" and "swamp rats", develops a fondness for them that he apparently never had with his own family. He realizes how estranged he really has been when he tried to call his son for some small talk and receives a hurried and disinterested response.

The Hmong gang, however, isn't finished. After a sudden drive-by shooting, Sue is no where to be found. She is dropped off much later, beaten and raped severely. Kowalski has to keep Thao calm despite his own anger brimming over.

Father Janovich (Christopher Carley), who has been stopping in at random times, has become increasingly aware of Kowalski's behavior, and knows exactly what he's capable of. He also knows Kowalski can't be talked out of taking action. When Kowalski stops by the church the next day for confession (which he'd never done in his life), Father Janovich realizes the gravity of the situation in its fullest.

I'm going to stop the synopsis there. The movie is very intense. The characters don't give away too much of the plot in the first half hour (formulaic movies often do it within the first ten minutes), and what they don't tell you, the visuals do (i.e. Kowalski worked at a Ford factory until retirement. He is visibly perturbed as he watches his son driving away from the funeral in a Kia).

We are somewhat desensitized by the racist remarks, particularily because we can't keep up with them. Almost every other word that comes out of Kowalski's mouth is offensive. This turns out to be a verbal trap, because once we've made up our minds that he hates everyone and is generally just a bigot, we see his interaction with his barber, laced with Italian and Polish jokes going back and forth. This from two guys who like eachother.

Her's acting is at first a little forced. When she's teasing Kowalski about his ignorance and mispronunciation of Hmong, it wasn't very convincing. The way she explained her culture sounded a little too much like an educational kid's show. It does get better, however, as the drama and violence ensue.

Vang's performance is surprisingly effective, for its low-key nature. He comes off as a typical teenager with low self-esteem and no direction. As Kowalski works Thao, he actually takes him under his wing, becoming something of a reluctant parent to the kid.

Eastwood reprises his gruff "I don't like anyone" type of character and plays it as though it were his last role (in fact, he's said this is his last acting role in a movie). His constant grimace and annoyed guttural grunts are convincing as he faces Father Janovich, his nosy Hmong neighbors, and a family who finds him more of a massive headache than a family member.

There's also the immense sadness in his character, as well. His memory of Korea continues to haunt him. He never had a close relationship with his kids, and when he finally began trying, it was simply too late. His closer relationship with his Hmong neighbors further serves to remind him of his "former" life both in war and in family (even though the Hmong are Chinese).

The movie, despite its drama, is peppered with humor as Kowalski, having trouble remembering Asian names, makes simple substitutes (Toad=Thao, YumYum=Youa).

I expected the ending, but it was no less heart-stopping. It only lasts a couple minutes, but it feels like forever. It takes something of a Martyr-ish turn, but man, what a movie! Well-done, Clint Eastwood.

Rating: 5/5 Bonedaddies.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

The Title Doesn't Do the Film Justice

A Boy and His Dog (1975)
Director- L.Q. Jones
Starring- Don Johnson, Susanne Benton, Tim McIntire

Vic (Johnson) and his dog Blood (voiced by McIntire) roam the postapocalyptic countryside on the lookout for food. Vic somehow has the power to communicate with Blood via telepathy, and any novelty he may have felt in the beginning has appeared to have worn off, as the two constantly bicker during their journey. Despite the gnawing hunger, as well as Vic's "man needs", the pair stick together through good and bad.
Along the way, they rescue a girl who had been kidnapped and intended to use as a sex slave. Finding himself in love, Vic follows her deep into the earth, where an underground community dwells in perfect old-fashioned civility. Vic is recruited to help repopulate, but is disappointed to find out it's not nearly as fun as it originally sounded.
"What the fuck?!" ran through my head throughout this whole movie, but I have to admit, I loved it! There was very little attempt to explain why Vic had the telepathic power to hear Blood's thoughts, which is fine because it's annoying when movies try to conveniently explain every little aspect of a character that isn't immediately understood. I also loved Vic's far-from-gentlemanly attitude toward women--even the protagonist can be starved for sex, apparently.
What really brings the strange element home for this movie is the ending, which I won't give away, except to say I was very amused by the little turn of events.
Rating: 4/5 Bonedaddies.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Oddly Not So Boring For the Thin Plot

Two-Lane Blacktop (1971)
Director- Monty Hellman
Starring- James Taylor, Warren Oates, Dennis Wilson

A couple drifting gearheads driving a '55 Chevy get themselves into a cross-country race with "pink slips" on the line against a GTO driver (Oates) who likes fibbing about his life to hitchhikers he picks up along the way. Speaking of hitchhikers, the duo find themselves with a female stowaway/possible love interest who looks like a minor.
The film does little to explain itself; rather than give the two gearheads names, they are simply listed as Driver (Taylor) and Mechanic (Wilson). The plot is as mentioned above, but the whole "pink slip" thing is kind of forgotten early on, and we're made to feel more like we're watching a simple anti-climactic road trip--especially when we see it all peter out at the end.
Ironically, that's what makes this movie good. There aren't a bunch of short attention-span cutaways and action shots, and at times it feels like we're sitting in the car along with the characters. The acting is a teeny bit flat, but again, given the fairly unexciting nature of the race, that style seems to fit right into it.

Rating: 3.5/5 Bonedaddies.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Not So Fabulous Lifestyles...

Ladies and Gentlemen: The Fabulous Stains (1981)
Director- Lou Adler
Starring- Diane Lane, Ray Winstone, Laura Dern

Corinne Burns (Lane), an orphaned, angst-ridden teen living in a washed-up town forms a band with two of her cousins and strikes a chord with other disillusioned youth. Soon the band finds themselves headlining with the Looters, and Burns sees all the good and bad sides to touring.
Her fans imitate her, seeing in her that part of them that wanted to scream out all their lives and thinking themselves unique, when the Looters' frontman Billy (Winstone) gives them--and Corinne--a rude awakening.

It was cool to see some vastly different personalities in these bands. Billy and Corinne are both brooding and insecure, trying to give the audiences something different while keeping their integrity somewhat intact. Corinne's cousins act and feel as if they're simply along for the ride--which they are. They can barely play any instruments, have little money, and soon miss their home lives as the road becomes longer.

There are also some interesting personalities in the Metal Corpses, essentially a has-been band trying to keep itself alive with a strange frontman who managed to so far stave off STD's and a drugged addled guitarist who probably never knew where he was.

All roles were played very well, very convincingly. The advice from the "has-beens" goes unheeded, and ironically makes sense. It's a good depiction of band relations/tensions, broken families, and also kids coming to the realization that for all the bad in their lives, they are in fact still kids.

Rating: 4/5 Bonedaddies.

Nachooooooo!

Nacho Libre (2006)
Director- Jared Hess
Starring- Jack Black, Ana de la Reguera, Hector Jimenez

Brother Ignacio (Black), an orphan-turned-monastery cook has big dreams of becoming a luchador. Unfortunately, the order considers it sinful, so Ignacio hides his identity and becomes Nacho. He and his partner, Esquelito (Jimenez) jump into the Mexican wrestling world, trying to win money to improve the food at the monastery, as well as the respect of the orphans living there and the love of Sister Encarnacion (Reguera).

For the most part, this isn't a bad movie. It has a lot of great elements to it--the most obvious being that it's about lucha libre! It also has good supporting cast. Reguera is subdued, but never overdramatizes the piety of her character. Jimenez is a personal favorite. His sidekick performance is so dedicated it reminds me of the caddy from Happy Gilmore, or Cornfed from Duckman.

Unfortunately, it has Jack Black. This is not an attack on his acting--he is actually quite capable of pulling off convincing and funny roles. It's just that after 10 minutes of Jack doing his routine, I had enough. I might not be sick of it, except that he does it in every movie he's ever starred in--the wild gesticulating while singing, the mouthed solos, it just doesn't do much for me. It worked better in movies like High Fidelity, School of Rock, and Pick of Destiny. Again, the performance that really stood out as funny was that done by Jimenez.

Rating: 3.5/5 Bonedaddies.